Three; Božský Zloděj

Jarmil Horak sighed deeply, lying down in his chair. He was sitting with his legs hanging over one of the armrests, and his head resting on the other. A few feet away from him was a TV, turned to a news channel with the volume low, so that he could hear what was going on without it being too distracting. He was seated in the basement of a small mansion in the Czech Republic, which had once been owned by his father, and now belonged to him. The basement was mostly empty, with symbols carved on some of the floors and walls, a small table in front of his chair, and a rusty sink in one of the corners, with a chest underneath it.
At his side was Artur Martinek, his right hand man. Artur was tall, with a scar on his left cheek, shoulder length black hair, lightly tanned skin, and bright blue eyes, a contrast to Jamril's blonde hair and pale skin. Jarmil's eyes remained closed, so the comparison between them could not be made. Jarmil was dressed in a long, black robe, closed shut over his torso, and a pair of black pants with three green tiger-stripes on each leg near his ankles. Artur was dressed in a gray button-up shirt and brown pants.
"This sucks...," Jarmil said. "When is he gonna get here?"
"Hopefully soon," Artur said. "Are you sure about him?"
"If the rumors are true, yes," Jarmil replied. "He'd be a valuable member."
"Let's hope it works out," Artur said. "Our numbers are low, and we could use someone with combat experience."
The door opened slowly. An young man walked in, dressed in a leather jacket and an ACDC T-shirt. His hair was died in multiple colors. Greens and violets and blacks, all swirling together, with no pattern or symmetry. His brown eyes scanned the room they were all in, and  pair of headphones, shaped vaguely like octopusses, played softly n his ears.
"Hey, is Jarmil here?" he asked.
"Yes I am," Jarmil said. "Come on in, Jaxson."
"How do you know my name?" Jaxson asked, taking a step in and closing the door behind him.
"A neat little ability I have," Jarmil said. "No one can keep their names secret from me."
"Huh," Jaxson said. "I've seen weird abilities before, but this is a first. So, why'd you call me here?"
Jarmil shifted in his chair so that he was seated upside down, with his legs in the air. His robes slipped down some, exposing the bottom of his finely toned abs.
"Well, once I heard the great Song Breaker was visiting Czechoslovakia, I just had to make your acquaintance," Jarmil said.
"Don't you mean Czech Republic?" Jaxson asked.
"I never quite agreed with the name change," Jaarmil said, frowning. "So, what brings you to our country?"
"All the hot Czech babes, of course," Jaxson said, grinning.
Artur stifled a laugh, but Jarmil didn't bother, and simply burst into laughter.
"So whats the real reason you called me here?" Jaxson asked.
Jarmil turned around in his chair so that he was sitting upright. He raised his head and faced Jaxson. If his eyes had been open, they would be staring directly into Jaxson's.
"Would you like to join our cult?" Jarmil asked.
Jaxson sighed. "This offer, huh?" he asked. "I've been asked before. Even forced to join in some cases. Why should I?"
"I've heard of you," Jarmil said. "You'd make a great addition to my group."
"And what would you want me to do?" Jaxson asked. "Kill people? Steal? Bring about the end of the world? I've been asked that one a lot."
"No, that wouldn't be neccessary," Jarmil said. "If I was interested in the destruction of the world, I wouldn't need any assistance."
"Our objectives are a bit complicated," Artur said. "But our main goal is interfering with the affairs of other cults and occasionally doing favors to the Old Ones."
"So what, you're a goody-to-shoes cult?" Jaxson asked.
"Hardly," Jarmil said, reclining in his chair. "We engage in criminal activities, just like any other cult. We just don't like people taking it too far."
"So what are your numbers at?" Jaxson asked.
Jarmil winced as the question was asked, and Artur hesitantly answered for him.
"Including us," he said, "Six. Seven if you join."
"Lucky number, eh?" Jaxson asked.
"There are no lucky numbers," Jarmil said. "That's just a silly concept created by superstitious humans."
"And yet superpowered eldritch gods are a perfectly normal occurrence?" Jaxson asked. "Yeah, that's reasonable. Whatever. I guess I'll give it a shot."
"Really?" Jarmil asked.
"But I reserve the right to walk out whenever I want," Jaxson added.
"That's fine with me," Jarmil said. "I will respect your- Artur, can you please turn up the volume?"
Jaxson raised an eyebrow as Artur did as he was told and increased the volume on the TV. The lady on the news was speaking quickly in Czech, as a large group of people shoved each other around her.
"What's she saying?" Jaxson asked.
"You don't speak Czech?" Artur asked.
"I didn't realize you guys had your own language before I came here," Jaxson admitted, as Jarmil stood up and approached the TV, placing a hand on the screen and turning his face down to the ground.
"There's a gang fight going on nearby," Artur said. "It's causing a lot of chaos."
"Not a gang fight," Jarmil said, still facing the ground with his hand on the screen. "I recognize some of these guys from the Cult Of Cthulhu. Not sure who they're fighting though."
"You're looking at the ground with your eyes closed," Jaxson pointed out. "How can you see anything on that screen?"
"It's complicated," Artur said.
"Looks like the Cult Of Cthulhu is winning," Jarmil said.
There was a shriek as the woman on the news was cut down by a man with a sword. Jarmil growled in anger, and the TV screen cracked down the middle.
"Who was that?" Jaxson asked.
"Cepel," Artur said. "He's the leader of the Cult Of Cthulhu's Czech branch."
"And a huge dick!" Jarmil hissed. "We're going out to fight them! Now!"
"Why?" Jaxson asked. "What'd he do to you guys?"
"Well, where do I start?" Jarmil said. "He's insulted me to my face, killed one of my men, set the front yard on fire, and he just murdered my favorite news lady! He dies! Let's go!"
Jarmil stormed out of the room.
"Um... is our boss okay in the head?" Jaxson asked.
"Not really," Artur said. "But he's right. We have to get out there."
A few minutes later, Jarmil, Artur, and Jaxson stood out in the street, facing the men who had been fighting earlier. Only the Cthulhu Cult members were still standing. The other cultists were all lying on the ground, dead.
"Um, where's Cepel?" Jaxson asked.
"Up there," Jarmil said, pointing to a nearby rooftop, without turning his head. Cepel was standing at the top, looking down at them.
"Ahoj, Jarmil!" he said, smiling. "My men and I just got finished with the Faceless Man's Cult! And you're next!"
"Hloupý čurák," Jarmil muttered. "I'm gonna kill you. S oheň."
"Then come get me!" Celep taunted, taking off.
Jarmil removed his robe, exposing his bare, athletic chest. He tossed the robe to Jaxson, who nearly collapsed under the garment's weight. Jarmil ran toward the building and jumped up to the top of it with a single leap. He then turned back to Jaxson and Artur.
"I'll go after him!" he said. "You guys handle things here!"
Then he took off. Jaxson sighed, and allowed the heavy robe to fall to the ground.
"The hell is that thing made of?" he asked, and the cultists began approaching them, weapons drawn.
"Not sure," Artur said. "Jarmil wears it to train."
"I see," Jaxson said. "So, how long do you think this'll last?"
The cultists, who well outnumbered the two of them, broke into a run, getting closer to them.
"Two minutes," Artur said. "Tops."
"Damn," Jaxson said, increasing the volume on his MP3 player, as his eyes shifted to a deep green. "Not even enough time for a good song."

Elsewhere, at the top of another building, Celep came to a halt and turned. He was alone.
"Heh, figured he'd be able to keep up," he said. "Guess I was wrong."
"Not quite," came Jarmil's voice from behind him.
Celep turned to see Jarmil landing at the edge of the building a few yards behind him. A pair of wings, wider than Jarmil was tall, were sprouting from his back. they were emaciated looking, with the skin stretched taught between them. They quickly twisted in on themselves, crumpling up and retracting back into Jarmil's back. He winced as they painfully disappeared.
"What the hell?" Celep asked.
"Neat, huh?" Jarmil said, smiling.
He then rushed forward. Celep swung his sword, which Jarmil ducked. Jarmil threw a punch, which Celep managed to dodge, before slashing his sword again. Jarmil dodged all of his attacks and sent a swift snap kick to Celep's chest, knocking him back a few feet. Celep slashed his sword again, but this time a wave of scarlet energy was released from the sword. Jarmil jumped up into the air, managing to leap above the shockwave as it flew by.
"That's a R'lyehian blade," Jarmil said, as he touched back to the ground.
"That's right!" Celep gloated. "This blade was given to me by the strongest man I know. With it, I am unbea-"
He was cut off when Jarmil punched him so hard in the face that he was knocked to the ground.
"Ow!" Celep exclaimed. "Do prdele!"
"You can fight and talk and the same time," Jarmil said. "You don't have to freezeframe when you monologue."
"Seru na tebe!" Celep shouted, swinging his sword upward.
Jarmil dodged the attack, but Celep managed to kick him in the knee. As Jarmil lost his balance, Celep quickly jumped up to his feet and grabbed Jarmil by the arm. Then, with a surprising amount of force, he threw Jarmil toward the edge of the building. As he flew over the edge, a large tentacle sprouted from his back and suctioned itself to the edge. Using the momentum from Celep's toss, Jarmil flung himself back at Celep. Celep dodged, and swung his sword at Jarmil as he flew past. Jarmil dropped his weight to the ground, managing to slip underneath the swing, and sweep kicked Celep's legs from beneath him. As he fell to the ground, Jarmil grabbed him with his tentacle and threw him toward the edge. Celep managed to roll to a stop before falling over and got to his feet as Jarmil's tentacle retracted into his back.
"So, who's this 'strongest man you know'?" Jarmil asked, dusting himself off.
"You already know him," Celeb said.
He swung his sword again, releasing another wave of power. Before it hit, an armor made of stone covered Jarmil's torso, with gemstones embedded in it.
"Brnění?" Celep exclaimed.
"I'm getting tired of this nesmysl," Jarmil said.
"So am I!" Celep said, as he began swinging his sword wildly.
He sent wave after wave of power at Jarmil, who was driven back by the repeated impact. His armor slowly started to crack, but before it could give way completely, Celep collapsed in exhaustion.
"Finished?" Jarmil asked, allowing his armor  to crumble and fall to the ground.
"Ticho!" Celep shouted, trying to get back up, using his sword for support.
"That sword clearly isn't safe to use," Jarmil said. "I don't like weapons, but this one is especially stupid."
"Shut your trap, you píča!" Celep shouted, rising and getting ready to swing again.
Before he could, the blade was cut in two, and one end fell to the ground. Celep gazed in horror at Jarmil's face, which was now concealed beneath an intricately carved mask of solid gold, without any eyeholes.
"Y-you broke the sword master Abreu gave me!" Celep gasped.
"Abreu!?" Jarmil demanded. "You mean Drahoslav Abreu!?"
"How did you...," Celep asked, still gawking at his broken blade.
Jarmil flicked one of his fingers, and a gash appeared on one of Celep's shoulders. He screamed in pain and clutched at the wound.
"Tell me about Drahoslav!" Jarmil demanded. "How is he back!"
"I-I can't tell you anything!" Celep stuttered, terrified.
"Then you can suffer for your silence!" Jarmil exclaimed. "Disgusting špína!"
Jarmil waved his hand in a wide arc, and both of Celep's legs were severed above the knees. He fell to the ground, crying in agony, and Jarmil approached. His mask melted away to nothing, exposing his outraged expression, with eyes still shut.
"What are you!?" Celep cried.
"Božský zloděj," Jarmil said. "The thief of the Gods."
Jaarmil raised a had into the air.
"Do you know why they call me that?" he demanded. "Do you want to know what I stole from them?"
Celep trembled on the roof beneath Jarmil. Despite his intense pain, the morbid curiosity was still there. He slowly muttered a weak "Yes" as he gazed up at Jarmil's furious face. Instantly, an orb of fires the size of a baseball appeared in Jarmil's hand, and in a matter of seconds, it expanded until it was ten feet across.
"Their power!" Jarmil exclaimed, slamming the ball of fire down on top of Celep's body.

***Ten minutes later, back at the base***

Artur hung Jarmil's robe on the doorknob and shut the door. Jaxson was at the sink, washing his forearms, which were completely drenched in blood.
"That was depressingly short," Jaxson said. "Barely had time for have of 'Love Bites' by Halestorm."
"Maybe our next fight will be longer," Artur said, going over to the broken TV. "Damn. This the fourth television he's broken this year."
"Is that so?" Jaxson asked. "I'm beginning to question what I signed up for."
It took Jaxson a few more minutes to clean his hands, but when he was almost finished, Jarmil walked in. He grabbed his robe off the doorknob and slipped it on.
"So what happened?" Jaxson asked, turning from the sink.
"I incinerated him," Jarmil said. "Also, he's back."
Jarmil said the would 'He' harshly, all but spitting out the word.
"Who?" Artur asked.
"Náš Bratranec," Jarmil hissed.
"Drahoslav!?" Artur gasped. "But... he can't be back!"
"Well, he is!" Jarmil said. "And what the fuck is on my chair!"
Jarmil still hadn't opened his eyes, but he had still somehow noticed the folded piece of paper on his chair. He picked it up, unfolded it, and placed a hand to it.
"Am I missing something?" Jaxson asked.
"Drahoslav Xesús Mikuláš Abreu," Artur said. "It's a long story, but he's our enemy."
"Oh," Jaxson said.
"I recognize this handwriting," Jarmil said. "It's him."
"You didn't even look at the note!" Jaxson said.
"Don't need to," Jarmil said. "He says he's where the jewel birds sing. What the hell does that mean?"
"Tokyo," Jaxson said, without missing a beat.
"What?" Jarmil asked.
"Emerarudo Karasu," Jaxson said. "They're a Japanese rock back. Most of the members, except for the keyboard player, own property in Tokyo."
"Emerararudo Ka-Ra-Su?" Jarmil asked.
"Emerarudo Karasu," Jaxson said. "Emerald Raven. I think that's what our guy meant."
"You can speak Japanese?" Artur asked.
"I learned it for all the hot Japanese babes," Jaxson said.
"Artur!" Jarmil said. "Open the Knave's Way!"
Artur approached a glyph carved into one of the walls. He drew a finger poker from his pocket and pricked his finger with it, then wiped the blood off on the symbols. They started glowing, and a door appeared there.
"What's this?" Jaxson asked.
"This," Jarmil said, "Is how we're getting to Tokyo."

Kzed Report 4

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". There's many ways of saying this phrase, but they all mean the same thing; "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming". It is written in the R'lyeh'n language, which few people can speak.
R'lyeh is said to be the prison of the Old One Cthulhu. It exists both inside and outside of our normal reality. I'm not sure what that means exactly...
It's approximate coordinates are in the Pacific ocean at 48 degrees South and 128 degrees west. It is said to be a sunken city that can somehow exist in multiple dimensions at once.
The architecture there is supposedly alien, beyond the comprehension of mortals. Geometry that makes no sense at all to those who don't understand it.
But I seek to understand everything. If only there were some way to see this place for myself...